Ok, im writing from Virginia Beach on the oceanfront and so far vacation has been great. At some point i’ll post some pics and you guys can see me looking like a fool, lol. Some highlights include getting locked out of our own hotel on the balcony, which wasn’t my fault lol, driving through a tunnel – which was a big deal when you’re from the south, and having the biggest issue of the day being which restaurant are we going to? Lol….but I intend to catch up with all you guys’ blogs when I return on Thursday night and Friday because I’ll still be off until Memorial Day.
Vacation Update
Posted in Hall Of Fame, Ranting Time with tags hotel, Memorial Day, ocean, Restaurants, tunnels, Vacation, Virginia Beach on May 21, 2012 by mp11312Balance
Posted in Ranting Time with tags Balance, Dating, equality, fun, Kids, Love, Relationships on May 13, 2012 by mp11312First off I want to say Happy Mothers Day to all the mothers out there, you guys have a tough job to do and I have always and will continue to respect you for it, no doubt. My girlfriend is a single mother and I don’t know how she does it sometimes, but she does.
But tonight I want to talk about balance within a relationship, and there’s two particular types - balance of time between you and your partner, and then the balance of time spent within your relationship. Without the right amount of time for yourself and yourselves, you or your partner can feel somewhat overwhelmed at times.
First off we have balance between you and your partner. I think everyone for the most part has things that they like to do on their own, then they have things they enjoy to do with their partner. The right partner will support you in the things you like to do on your own, and enjoy the time you share when you’re together. It’s important though that when you do start to become serious with someone that you do not lose yourself at the same time.
Second we have balance of time within the relationship. This delves more into the “what” you do when you’re with your partner. If your partner seems to dictate everything that you do together, then maybe you should be a little more vocal about what things you like to do and pose more ideas. If your partner has kids, it makes things more challenging, but both you and your partner can work to make things easier. Make time for your partner’s kid or kids, and if you have kids, you should encourage your partner to spend time with them, yet make some arrangements to spend time with your partner alone as well.
Too much leaning one way or the other will lead to frustration at some point and that just leads down a road no one wants to go down. Are you guys balanced in your relationships right now
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CHANGES???
Posted in Hall Of Fame, Stir It Up Saturday with tags Amendment One, Carolina Panthers, Changes, NBA Draft, Pornos, President Obama, Relationships, Sex, Virginia Beach on May 12, 2012 by mp11312Good morning followers and lovers of this site, I hope all is well with you all. I’ve decided to make a little change in how we do things around here. We’re primarily a relationship blog and we’ll keep that as our main focus. But I started thinking about our website name – Black Men Uncensored. There’s more to us than just relationships, sex, and ranting about the Charlotte Bobcats, lol.
So we’re going to open our blog up to what Black Men think about on all types of issues. Now this will run the gamut from sports, to politics, to rants which I know you guys love, to our occasional sex talk, to even the economy if we want to go there. See me and my co-author just have a lot more to say than our very strong opinions about relationships and we want to share this shit with the world, lol.
So with that being said, here’s a little bit about what’s on my mind right now:
- North Carolina just became the 31st state in the US to pass the amendment that says marraige is only recognized between a man and a woman. How do I feel? I have a couple of openly gay friends, and honestly they should be able to live their lives the way they want to. That’s a personal choice, and everyone should be able to have the same rights no matter what their personal relationship choices are.
- I’m glad President Obama then came out and stated his opinion about the amendment. But I’m also glad that he backed that up by saying he wasn’t going to pass legislation on it either. Keeps both parties satisfied to a certain point.
- Cam Newton losing the Madden 2013 cover vote to Calvin Johnson was bullshit. But it’s all right because Super Cam is about to turn the Carolina Panthers into the next big thing in the NFL!
- If the Charlotte Bobcats do not get the #1 pick in the upcoming NBA Draft there is not justice in the world. When you are the worst NBA team ever, and having watched almost all of their games, I can admit they are, you should automatically qualify for that shit, lol….
- On a personal note, Tuesday is my last day at work before I am officially on vacation for 12 days. I’m going to Virginia Beach and I hope to blog everyday while I’m off because I can finally have some time to give you guys the shit I was giving you before work became the absolute devil, lol…
- I haven’t bought any pornos in a long time…..and on that note, why the fuck is every porno made in some little city in Southern California over a 2-3 day period? Damn…..if I ever need some money, I’m going to lose a ton of weight and move there and become a porn star…..
Personality #1 – Mama’s Boy
Posted in Ranting Time with tags adulthood, Dating, extremes, Love, mama's boy, Men, Relationships, Think Like A Man on May 8, 2012 by mp11312Tonight we begin our study of stereotypes from the movie Think Like A Man. First we have the mama’s boy. Now I’ll tell you this – I love my mom like no other, she’s been there through the hard times – which reminds me to make a post highlighting my embarassing moments lol – and she’s been there through some good times as well. But by the time I could drive and support myself, I was ready to get out of there lol. So I honestly can’t relate to anyone who is a mama’s boy.
In the movie however, the character that played the mama’s boy had issues to the point where spending time with his mother got in the way of his relationship growing with the woman he just met. I wonder if that’s truly a real issue in these days and times…..to me it almost seems there is less of an emphasis on time spent with parents as they grow older, and a boy becomes an adult. Maybe I’m short sighted on this one, but I found it hard to believe that there are still men out there that go to this extreme to put their moms first.
Either way, in the movie the issue solves itself by the man realizing that being with a woman he is really falling for was more important, and the mother ends up supporting him, while in the same scene she is found getting her on freak on! Imagine that….good ole Hollywood ending #1 for you, lol. But my own personal opinion to wrap this up – any man whose mother gets in the way of him being happy with someone and allows it is probably selfish and bitter about her own failures in life. Hopefully when I get old and have kids, I won’t be that way myself, lol…..
Think Like A Man Movie Review – A Silly Sunday In Itself…
Posted in Silly Sundays with tags Dating Stereotypes, Friends, Hollywood, Love, Movie Review, Relationships, Think Like A Man, Tyler Perry on May 6, 2012 by mp11312So me and boo boo finally managed to get some free time to ourselves on Saturday so we went to see Think Like A Man. While the movie was pretty funny for the most part, I give it 3 stars overall out of 4. It played WAY too much directly off of Steve Harvey’s book of the same name. So much so that it was almost like one of those infomercials that come on tv at 3:30 am in the morning, lol. The women in the movie of course had the same issues – they were single and looking for a man to settle down, for the most part.
The men in the movie of course weren’t looking to seriously settle down and had their own set of issues that befalled them as well. The movie has what I call it’s “Tyler Perry” moments where each character goes through some trouble or drama, and then in the end it’s all wrapped up neatly in a series of somewhat emotional scenes, and then the ending leaves people laughing and feeling good. Most black comedies with romance tend to end this way for some reason.
Now, could the events in this movie relate to real life? Hell yeah! But the likely resolutions that occured in the movie are definite Hollywood endings. The chances for those endings in real life in those given situations would probably be about 5% out of 100 at best. Movies at their best, lol. However, throughout the week we’ll visit some of the stereotypes presented in the movie and talk about why those stereotypes tend to remain single in our society.
Tomorrow….another Monday. Fuck…..
Terrible Thursdays: Sidepieces
Posted in Terrible Thursdays with tags Ass, Dating, Friends, Intimacy, Love, Pussy, Relationships, Sex, Sidepiece, Titties on May 3, 2012 by mp11312Tonight I’m going to address something that I think everyone has thought about doing at one time or another. And that’s having a sidepiece. Now if you don’t know what a sidepiece is, it’s another person outside of your relationship who supplements the thing or things that are lacking in your relationship. Usually, a sidepiece is a casual sex partner who is aware of what they are, and there is a mutual agreement between you and your sidepiece that it will never become more than what it is.
Now that we got the definition out the way, what makes someone go get a sidepiece? Usually it’s a situation where you are happy with your main girlfriend or partner, but for whatever reason there’s maybe one or two things lacking that she just can’t give you for whatever reason. Maybe she has a job that keeps long hours, or she has a child or children that take up the majority of her free time. And the option of the sidepiece comes up because you don’t want to disturb an otherwise healthy relationship with someone you care about.
Finding a sidepiece can be tricky, because it takes some time to build up the nerve to explain your situation to your potential sidepiece and see if they’re cool with it. Sometimes though, it just happens and it’s not planned at all. You could be friends with a female, and she could be lonely, and you’re lacking intimacy….and then BAM! You find yourself deeply involved in a sidepiece situation you didn’t even plan on being in.
Some relationships have gone years with sidepiece situations and those have probably kept the peace within a relationship for longer than you could ever imagine. But morally, sidepieces are wrong……right? Yes, they are, definitely, lol…..but I’ve even heard of situations where couples agree on mutual sidepieces, and then spend the rest of their life doing everything else together. Crazy as hell, right? Not in 2012, where the world seems to be as sexually free and open as it ever has been.
Now you’re probably wondering – have I ever had a sidepiece? And the answer is hell yes I have, and to be totally honest about it, it was a sexual deal, as well as a deal where she was in a relationship as well, and not being satisfied either, so it was an easy, mutually exclusive agreement. It went on for a little while before she started feeling guilty about what she was doing. It was very easy to meet her as well, a simple conversation that led into her personal life, where she expressed frustration about the lack of intimacy that was going on. And then of course one thing led to another, and one day she was naked in my bed lol.
Have you guys ever had sidepieces or thought about having them? And if so what was the results of it? Love to hear the feedback on this one!!
Is Anyone There?
Posted in Ranting Time with tags Alms, Cheating, Dad, Football, Life, Mid-Life Crisis on May 1, 2012 by mp11312Love and relationships are usually our focus here, but I wrote a blog called Perspective a little while back and that was a really deep and personal entry for me. Tonight I want to talk about something a little different as well. Some of you may know it, some of you may not, but for the longest I’ve wanted to have a family of my own. And at one point I was on my way to that dream, however it got knocked off the tracks by someone who wasn’t faithful to me.
And ever since then, life has seemed to be really hard – now in comparison to a homeless man or someone who doesn’t have a job it’s not hard at all, lol. But you guys know what I mean – the good breaks always seem to happen to everyone else, the things you really want and desire never seem to go your way, and the things and the people you care about the most always seem to let you down at the most critical of times.
I never really believed in what they call a “mid-life” crisis, but if I was ever close to one, I guess that might be what I’m experiencing. I went to see my father today for the first time in a while since I had a rare day off of work. He isn’t in the greatest of health and just got out of the hospital, and he neglected to tell anyone. The big thing he told me, and he told me this when I was ten years old as well – make sure that you always complete your alms – at the end of the day that’s what you are judged on by God.
And that statement has made me the man that I am today. I really try to give more than I ever have asked for, hold the door open for old people and women, given 12 years of my life to coaching young men in high school all on a volunteer basis, lent money with no expectation for getting it back, yet still the few things in my life that I’ve desired never have come to fruition. Why? If I knew the answer to that question, I’d probably have won the lottery by now, lol.
Maybe I’m just frustrated about where I am at 31 in terms of my personal goals, maybe there is some legitimacy to the lack of reciprocal acts in my life, or maybe it’s 11:45 pm and I’ve been up since 6 am with no sleep and my mind is just going insane. But the one thing I know is this – if this pattern continues on much longer, I’m going to have to take a look in the mirror myself and see if I’m the problem within my own life, or is it just the fact I put my trust in people who have only their best interests at heart?
